Fox News [print]

Copy:The dose of reality that Ralph Nader never got.
There's nothing the American Public deserves more than grounded, realistic news reporting. Except for maybe a grounded, realistic third party candidate. Here at Fox News, we really do like Mister Nader and encourage him to run again and again. It gives us something to talk about after the Entertainment news. Fox News. It's impossible to be too right.


Copy: People in France don't consider this real journalism. That's okay, we don't consider France a real country.
The only thing that causes resentment is the truth. The only way to tell the truth is to not pussyfoot around other people's feelings, especially when they're a bunch of cheese-eating surrender monkeys. We're not afraid to tell it like it is. And what you see is what you get. Kind of like America. Fox News. It's impossible to be too right.


Copy: Admittedly, we have told some of our guests to shut up. But that's because they were idiots.
You'll never catch a Fox News reporter issuing a retraction. You'll never catch a Fox News reporter issuing an apology. And of course, you'll never catch a Fox News reporter issue faulty election results before final vote tabulation. Why? Because we don't believe in being politically correct - just correct. So we'll just stick to the truth, thank you. Fox News. It's impossible to be too right.